One would expect sellers to be generally honest people who describe their automobiles as accurately as possible. Nowadays, that's all too often not the case. We live in a society of superlatives. Nothing can be big or good enough. Apparently, everything has to be perfect, like new, or even better than new in order to be appreciated. A shame, really!
But we can't singlehandedly change the World or the society we live in. What we can do, however, is alert you to terms frequently used by sellers to describe their collector cars and translate them into the language of realism and truth:
| TERM | MEANING |
| Asking | Very flexible; I realize that I will never get my asking price. Thousands of Dollars off, if you got cash in fist. No offer will insult me! |
| Body fair | No metal remaining below the bondo |
| Body good | Body is not really good. It's useable, not more. Don't assume anything. All major holes were fiberglassed, then filled with bondo |
| Burns no oil | Just leaks like a sieve |
| Call any time | It's hard to sell it |
| Completely restored | Fixed it, so that it can be sold, but still shows that it was done the "El Cheapo" way . . . |
| Concours | Had it washed and waxed |
| Deliver for expenses | I'll do anything to get rid of this car! |
| Desirable Classic | Nobody likes it |
| Drive anywhere | Within a few miles of your home, during daylight hours, when it's not too cold (or too hot) outside, and when you don't need windshield wipers. |
| Drive it away | I'm on a hill |
| Engine quiet | Thank God for 60-weight oil and STP |
| Estate sale | We're cleaning out the garage |
| Fine old Classic | Old car |
| Firm | $1,000 off for cash |
| Former show winner | At the 1967 Kiwanis pancake breakfast |
| Good investment | Value has hit rock bottom |
| Good shape | Just some hidden frame damage |
| Has been appraised | I want an outrageous amount for it |
| Has classic lines | Yeah, the Edsel does too |
| Immaculate | Had it washed |
| Interior needs some work | Mountain lions were fighting in it |
| Leaving the country | Bank is going to repossess it |
| Major tune up | Sandblasted the spark plugs |
| Mint | A mint car is an oxymoron. It does not exist and cannot be created with any kind of money. Therefore, the seller implies one of the following:
|
| Modern Classic | AMC Pacer |
| Must sacrifice | Can't give it away |
| Need money |
|
| Needs major overhaul | Ready for the boneyard |
| Needs minor overhaul | Needs extensive work |
| New chrome | Rechromed a few items |
| New top | Only 4 years old |
| No time to restore | Parts nonexistent |
| Other interests force sale | Spouse said "dump it" |
| Parts car | All useable parts have long been stripped off |
| Rare Classic | Nobody liked it when new |
| Restored | Fixed up |
| Rough | Too bad to lie about it |
| Sharp | Whitewall tires |
| Solid as a rock | Everything rusted together |
| Stored 20 years | Engine froze when new |
| You finish | There's no light at the end of the endless tunnel |
| 99% complete | Most important stuff is gone |
| 95% restored | And about 75% to go |
| 99% restored | Can't find the rare parts needed to finish |